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Tuesday, November 24, 2009

TURNING GRAY AMONG FRIENDS


Received November 21, 2009

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my
loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged,
I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've
become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra
cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement
gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I
am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before
they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer
until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those
wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish
to weep over a lost love ... I will.
I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a
bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose
to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.

They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is
just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important
things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken.. How can your heart
not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or
even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken
hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A
heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the
joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning
gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep
grooves on my face.
So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair
could turn silver.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about
what other people think. I don't question myself anymore.
I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free.
I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever,
but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what
could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat
dessert every single day (if I feel like it).

MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART ESPECIALLY
WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART